Each time I talk to her, that well-known feistiness surfaces more. I suspect that -- during cancer time -- one control tactic she immediately recognized as being effective was that of her role as a mother. The questioning or persuading or advice-giving (er... ok, not advice but ordering, of the kindly threatening sort) in response to your problem would trigger you to instantly recognize mom again.
To that, I'm not used to making decisions or persuading decisions that my mom makes. But, cancer time has made me accustomed to it. I think it was easier than anticipated -- either that or I have some of her feistiness in me.
So, as recovery continues, I'm delighted to cautiously slip back into the role of "daughter" and let her give me my marching orders in that motherly way that she does. (One thing I've learned as an adult is that time travel is impossible and I can't be 24 again, so I clearly have no choice in the matter.)
Not that I haven't picked up on some of her tactics... they're pretty effective when she needs to slow it down and not try to do quite so much. But I rely on her helping to guide me into the right direction sometimes, especially when I find myself (frequently) at an indecisive road. Did you know I'm indecisive? Yes. I overcommit myself and can't say no. I have an indelible need to be involved. I am a control maniac. I feel like giving my two cents will persuade a situation into the direction I favor.
Alas, my freaky notions about controlism and life often backfire, and mom must step in to clue me in at my stages of bafflement.
So, you see, I need her to be here much, much longer. I just grew up this year! I'm way behind! Or am I just learning that being an adult is more "acting" like you know what you're doing versus really knowing anything at all?
Sigh. I don't really care. I like having my mom tell me to take Sudafed when I'm sick and reminding me to get our second bedroom set up for hubzo's best friend's upcoming visit or how to make chicken sour cream enchiladas or the appropriate type of appetizer I should take to hubzo's boss' BBQ tonight. I even found myself lost in Denver yesterday, as usual, trying to find a public garden... normally, I'd have just called and asked her to help, but didn't want to chance waking her from a nap. Sometimes, I call her to help remind me where something is in New York City -- the battiest, easiest place to get lost -- and, yes, she knows the streets there better than I do.
But then again, isn't that what she does for all of us? Super mom. Ha ha.
Indeed she is.