About Our Momma

Mums' is doing well

2009-11-20T07:55:00.002-06:00

It's been a terribly long time since I've updated on mom. She continues to progress back into her regular lifestyle and is feeling well. Just yesterday she told me her energy is !back! and I was glad to hear it... I haven't seen her in over a month!

She and my paps will be here next week for Turkey Day. We're planning a cocktail party to meet Thayne's girlfriend's parents and hoping to do some baby shopping. I'm having a girl so now we can plan! Mom has been giving the baby little gifts each time she sees us... it's funny.

Next round of blood tests is early December and we hope for continued good news.

I've joined the Wash Park Relay for Life Committee and will likely be taking on a co-captain role with advocacy. I attended my first group meeting last night... such a great group of passionate people! Relay will be in late July 2010 and we have high hopes for fundraising and raising awareness about issues facing cancer patients.

That's it for now! Thanks to everyone for continued well-wishes...

Duathlon to sport beer garden

2009-09-24T07:41:00.002-05:00

Don't forget to register for the 1st Annual Du Good Off-Road Duathlon that's benefitting local Ulysses cancer patients in need. This unprecedented event is sure to bring out a great group of local bikers, runners and others who just wanna have fun!

Not convinced yet? There's a beer garden. That should do it.

Click here to register now. Anyone can also volunteer (in the beer garden, no less). Contact the event organizers at: dugoodevents@yahoo.com or 806-206-4135.

Good NEWS!

2009-08-31T15:45:00.004-05:00

Mom is clear of cancer (I can't say "cancer-free", b/c it's just too scary)! Mom is in GOOD health! Mom got her bile drainage bag out (thank heavens)! Mom's blood work and CT scan showed positive progress from her rather complicated surgery and normal levels of everything that must be normal! Mom's surgeon smiled from ear-to-ear (and he doesn't smile so easily)!

Mom herself was clearly smiling ear-to-ear herself when she told me, in the most relieved voice I've ever heard, "I'm walking out these revolving doors for the first time... happy!"

Obvs, we have to hold our breath again in six months, to be sure, but we'll take today's news and run for the hills. See ya!

Just kidding... all of you, each of you, is and has been so important to mom and our entire family during this seemingly never-ending travail through the cancer jungle. We can never thank everyone enough for being supportive and caring about mom, the most amazingly brave person I know. For, if she hadn't let those amazing surgeons argue over her treatment and do what they thought best, I fear we would not be sitting on today's pile of relief.

I regularly get "successful" patient video stories from the Mayo Clinic on Facebook. Because I'm a writer, I've been waiting for weeks to even hope that I might be able to help write mom's success story for America's finest healthcare system.

Stay posted. We still have the First Annual Du Good duathlon on October 3 in Ulysses to complete with success. Sign-up today if you haven't already. It's sure to be a day to remember for everyone involved.

Off to Mayo

2009-08-29T09:41:00.003-05:00

Mom and dad are traveling to Mayo today and will start mom's new appointments on Monday.

We had such a treat last weekend when she and my dad unexpectedly cruised into Denver for the weekend. We haven't had one of "those" weekends since March, when we first discovered she might be sick. It was bittersweet and very nice to relax and enjoy the lovely Colorado mornings and evenings (forget the afternoons, because it was HOT)!

Mom was looking a million times more healthy than last time we saw her in mid-July. She has much weight to regain, but her spirit is back and her energy was surprisingly hefty.

Keep mom is your prayers over the next few days as we await news of pathology reports and how her recovery after surgery is progressing.

A recovery metaphor

2009-08-14T07:43:00.005-05:00

Wow, mid-August is on our tail!

As far as I know, mom is progressing in a good way. She has her new appointments scheduled at Mayo in about two weeks, and only time will tell. I think she's feeling better. I know it's been good for to return to work. And I know she's able to make sure I'm on track with certain things (he he). But I think she's a wee bit bored, not having gained all of her regular combusting energy back yet.

Recovery gets so long and boring that I've almost forgotten what it was like before this all happened. It used to not be unusual for me to phone her at work if I get lost. I get lost a lot.

Yesterday morning, low and behold, I was lost, trying to remember where a friend lived and rushing to work at the same time. I picked up the phone in a panic and thought, "who can I call?" Hubzo was off work to hang out with a friend in town, so... nope, he's sleeping in and that won't work. Thayne is traveling for work, not in Boulder... won't work. Nobody's at the office yet... that won't work.

Oh! I suddenly remembered that I could call mom at work!!!

Alas, I peeked down at the time and it was only 8:45 AM in Kansas. I didn't think she'd be in quite yet with her shortened hours.

So, I called and woke up hubzo from dreamland instead. Thank goodness for Google maps.

Duathlon Registration Now Open

2009-08-06T12:37:00.006-05:00

Registration is now open at www.dugoodevents.com for the October 3, 2009, Du Good Duathlon benefiting both mom and another local cancer patient.

The race will be held on newly developed biking and running trails at Frazier Park in Ulysses. This event is so unique because not only will it serve as a wonderful fundraiser opportunity for local community members in need, but it's also introducing everyone to untapped recreational resources in Frazier Park that can be utilized annually through this event, which can be repurposed to benefit others year after year.

The Duathlon is divided into several categories, including Experienced, Novice, and Kids 1/2, so all ages and varying experience levels with off-road biking and running can participate. View detailed race maps of the biking and running course by visiting www.dugoodevents.com.

Individuals and teams can now register online or via regular mail by visiting www.dugoodevents.com. Early-entry fee rates run until September 26. Fees increase after that date, and online registration officially closes on October 2, 2009.

Proceeds from the event will come from local sponsorships and race entries. For more information about sponsoring or volunteering at the Duathlon, please contact Melodie Faulkner Weis at dugoodevents@yahoo.com or (806)-206-4135.

Recovery continues, slowly

2009-08-04T09:43:00.002-05:00

Well, mom's been working half-days for the past week and although it tires her out, I think it's been good for her. She seems in better spirits all the time. I haven't actually seen her now for two weeks. My trip home last weekend was postponed, so I'm hoping to see her soon.

She sounds good on the phone, but who really knows. Ha ha. She baked cookies this weekend, so I think everyone knows that's a good sign.

Although her fatigue continues, as it likely will for some time, her mind is feeling better. Onto Mayo, hopefully, end of this month for a check-up that we really hope is a positive one!

A few laughs

2009-07-25T08:16:00.004-05:00

Mom has been cracking me up this week.

Each time I talk to her, that well-known feistiness surfaces more. I suspect that -- during cancer time -- one control tactic she immediately recognized as being effective was that of her role as a mother. The questioning or persuading or advice-giving (er... ok, not advice but ordering, of the kindly threatening sort) in response to your problem would trigger you to instantly recognize mom again.

To that, I'm not used to making decisions or persuading decisions that my mom makes. But, cancer time has made me accustomed to it. I think it was easier than anticipated -- either that or I have some of her feistiness in me.

So, as recovery continues, I'm delighted to cautiously slip back into the role of "daughter" and let her give me my marching orders in that motherly way that she does. (One thing I've learned as an adult is that time travel is impossible and I can't be 24 again, so I clearly have no choice in the matter.)

Not that I haven't picked up on some of her tactics... they're pretty effective when she needs to slow it down and not try to do quite so much. But I rely on her helping to guide me into the right direction sometimes, especially when I find myself (frequently) at an indecisive road. Did you know I'm indecisive? Yes. I overcommit myself and can't say no. I have an indelible need to be involved. I am a control maniac. I feel like giving my two cents will persuade a situation into the direction I favor.

Alas, my freaky notions about controlism and life often backfire, and mom must step in to clue me in at my stages of bafflement.

So, you see, I need her to be here much, much longer. I just grew up this year! I'm way behind! Or am I just learning that being an adult is more "acting" like you know what you're doing versus really knowing anything at all?

Sigh. I don't really care. I like having my mom tell me to take Sudafed when I'm sick and reminding me to get our second bedroom set up for hubzo's best friend's upcoming visit or how to make chicken sour cream enchiladas or the appropriate type of appetizer I should take to hubzo's boss' BBQ tonight. I even found myself lost in Denver yesterday, as usual, trying to find a public garden... normally, I'd have just called and asked her to help, but didn't want to chance waking her from a nap. Sometimes, I call her to help remind me where something is in New York City -- the battiest, easiest place to get lost -- and, yes, she knows the streets there better than I do.

But then again, isn't that what she does for all of us? Super mom. Ha ha.

Indeed she is.

Incision healed!

2009-07-21T21:11:00.002-05:00

Mom saw the surgeon yesterday and the incision is officially healed. Her bile drainage bag remains attached, but it's better that she's still draining externally versus internally.

Her voice is stronger all the time, and she claims to be feeling better everyday.

Keep positive thoughts coming... as always.

Whatta week

2009-07-17T08:12:00.003-05:00

Mom's strength continues to build!

I don't know for sure, but I think her immobility is making her very antsy and frustrated. The thought of lying in bed watching television is no picnic for her. I've also noticed that on days when she sets goals for herself, or knows she has a priority that day (such as hosting her dear friend Peggy who drove many miles to visit her this week!), she does better.

She actually went into the office for a bit yesterday, and couldn't remember basic URLs and things like that. Although I'm not surprised (reading wasn't really an option mere weeks ago), I think she was. It'll all come back to her.

We aren't traveling to be with her this weekend, so I hope she doesn't get too lonely. :)

Her surgeon's appointment is on Monday. I think she's progressed well beyond that nasty infection. I'm not so sure they'll remove her bile drainage bag yet. It's still draining. Frankly, I know it's not FUN, but I am nervous about another doctor removing it. It's not just stuck into her side! It goes in through her liver and biliary system, and was placed during the surgery.

Trust. Trust. I have to remember to trust.

SuperfunSuperdupernight!

2009-07-13T19:27:00.010-05:00

What a great night we all had on Saturday evening -- the band rocked out, people danced their tails off (although everyone was a tad shy at first) and lots of mom's best friends and wonderful community came out to support her.

Mummsy made it out for the festivities, as well, and is allowing one lone photo (see above) of her that I barely captured as she walked in and greeted her beloved Aunt Helen and Uncle Joe (they traveled four hours and spent the night for the event!).

So... with that, enjoy the pics and allow me the time to thank each of the wonderful, amazing friends of ours who took valuable time out of your daily lives to make this fabulous night happen. (I will refrain from posting video, because while there is a great amount of humorous activity captured on film, it is likely best that it stay locked up in the Big Fat Fun event vault forever. Someday, someday.)

We are tremendously grateful for the community of Ulysses, for the Fort family and for our friends and neighbors who brainstormed, organized and brought this fun event to life. You not only brought everyone a delightful evening of music, socializing and fundraising; you also played host to a much needed and immensely comfortable atmosphere for mom to re-enter the community.

For us, that was more than anything we could have hoped for. For mom, it made what might have been a very challenging step much easier to tackle. And, I know for a fact she had a really fun time! (I also know for a fact that the rest of us had a really good time, too! Tee hee.)

Thank you...

Pam and Jay Annis
Sherry and Beatty Annis

Stacey and Darren Figgins

Kim and Kevin Ford
Mary Kay and Craig Malone

Catherine and Kevin Moyer

Jim and Shirley Wilson

Crystal and Kelly Wilson... and everyone else in your yellow t-shirts! We love you all (including Big Fat Fun)!

See you all tonight!

2009-07-11T07:36:00.004-05:00

I hope everyone within a reasonable distance from Ulysses comes out tonight to rock out to BIG FAT FUN at mom's benefit at Wilson's Shop.

Doors open at 8 PM and the band starts at 9 PM. Donations will be accepted at the door and this event is BYOB!

I daresay the lady of the hour will be present!

Go yellow Friday!

2009-07-10T07:56:00.003-05:00

I was excited to catch up with my Grandma Pat last night here in Denver as our family celebrates the life of of a dear family member, Phil Bailey (Lisa Sullivan's husband, who recently passed away after a long battle with cancer). G-ma was rocking her fancy yellow pin that Susie made for all of us to wear on the day of mom's surgery.

It made me happy.

Yet, as we all gathered in a beautiful home with a beautiful sunset and even a rainbow, the reality is that we were brought together because of what cancer has done to another family. A few cousins, who I hadn't seen since we were children, are grown up now. They live in Denver and Aspen, and commented on how beautiful and fun Kansas is during the summer. But, alas, they rarely travel there except for a funeral. Of course, we all immediately began plotting a family reunion, but it was hard to not sense the sinister wash of that terrible disease lying in wait, ready to come and wallpaper our walls of life.

It's sad, but more importantly, it's truly difficult and mind-breaking to fight cancer. Some win, some lose, some are still hoping they won. Some are buying Aflac at age 32 and assuming they will need cancer insurance in the near future. "I just figure it'll happen," a very young person recently said to me.

If only we could not have cancer among us, it seems like life would be easier, but there will always be something to break and challenge humans. It's so important to fight for healthcare reform that provides equal and fair access to treatment and post-cancer care to Americans, to have an insurance industry that doesn't force a family to fight daily or forgo that valuable MRI or round of chemo because they can't afford it, to have more research and development focused not only on the "big" cancer areas, but also the small and rare, to have patients feel empowered to become cured and and not lose their minds and bank accounts while doing it, and to allow their families the basic knowledge about how to get the best care possible and keep their minds clear to make sound decisions.

Cancer is a part of everyone's life anymore. I remember it as a child, lying in the back of my mom's jeep with my brother, my cousins Devan and Amber, my mom and my Aunt Patsy. I remember it being very late at night, and the group of us rushing to the high school in Ulysses on a pre-summer night to find my dad's youngest brothers and retrieve them from the prom so we could rush to Denver where my Grandad Cliff had spent eons of time battling cancer at University Hospital, where he was not doing so well, and where we feared it might end.

Fast forward to 2004 and getting the call on a February night from my parents that my own father had cancer. Freshly diagnosed and told he didn't have many options.

The thing is... you don't believe that crap when you hear it. Or, at least, we didn't. So we rallied and flew him to NYC and got him in the MRI machine and a surgery scheduled. It sounds easy, but it wasn't. We were fortunate to have found a surgeon and hospital system that properly diagnosed and treated him.

Even though I never wanted to get that call again, I did. Again, we rallied and fortunately for us, made some smart decisions. We found the astounding Mayo Clinic and mom's surgical team, and as September rolls around and she and I travel once again to the Charlton building on Mayo Campus, we can only hope for cancer-free pathology reports.

I guess hope is better than nothing, right?

Saturday is only 4 days away

2009-07-08T07:27:00.004-05:00

Miss mums already

2009-07-05T20:18:00.003-05:00

Back in Denver after a really wonderful long weekend with mums and dad... had a great family 4th of July and felt better leaving mom this week versus last week. Of course, we'll be back in full force this coming weekend for the July 11th Benefit in Ulysses. Click here for more info. Anyone can join us for a fun night and live band to help raise funds for mom's medical fund.

Hope to see ya'll there!

She's a firecracker

2009-07-04T08:53:00.003-05:00

And, I'm hoping she'll pop a few tonight, too.

Happy 4th of July, peeps! Mom gets stronger each day. Her days could be likened to hubzo's favorite Clint Eastwood flick: the good, the bad and the ugly. We've been cooking the last two days and are hoping to try for homemade butterfinger ice cream today (thanks for the recipe, Stacey).

Hope everyone has a great and safe holiday.

Cookie monster

2009-07-02T08:36:00.005-05:00

Hubzo and I rolled into town around 11:30 PM last night and promptly fell into bed. Mums was waiting -- true to form -- in her chair for us. Even the dog was conked out and refused to make any noise.

Mom is in better spirits. I haven't changed her dressing yet, but she says, per Deb, that the incision wounds look more "shallow". Believe me, that's good. Eeek.

I think back to one year today when mom was doing her mom thing to the enth degree as I flew away from my last day as a New Yorker to begin life in Colorado.

Let me tell you: when you need someone to organize a move, call mom (well, wait until she's better though!). She's the BEST. I had 28 boxes of kitchen stuff and books, two ginormous bags of clothes, a laptop and an apartment we rented over the phone. No furniture. No shampoo. No hubzo because he was closing out the job and our Brooklyn 'hood space.

That week, all I needed was my momma and my stress flew out the window. The apartment magically filled, I found a local pizza joint, we watched the best fireworks I've ever seen (yes, better than sitting in a loft above the East river with full view of the Macy's barges), she zonked out with Cole (the dog) on Thayne's sofa.

Matt (hubzo), a renowned cookie and chocolate junkie, awoke this morning in my old room and eagerly said "can we have cookies for breakfast?"

I laughed. You know why, too. Because there are always cookies in this house. Not today, though. She still isn't up to kitchen speed.

I think he and I will take the cookie reins today.

New nutrition guidelines from ACS

2009-06-30T10:13:00.002-05:00

The American Cancer Society nutrition guidelines recommend cutting back on red meat and processed meat, which means we should try to eat fish or poultry more often. Not sure all of my midwestern and southern pals will agree with these new guidelines, because so many of us are red meat junkies.

Nevertheless, get some great recipes here!

July 11th Live Band Benefit: Details

2009-06-29T17:11:00.002-05:00

Hey guys!

Check out the new flyer art for the upcoming Dance Part and Live Band Benefit in Ulysses, KS, on July 11th!

Mark your calendars for July 11th now! Don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind benefit for Paulette Fort in Ulysses, KS! Wichita-based band, BIG FAT FUN, will treat the community to an all-ages show on July 11 from 9 pm - 1 am at Wilson's Shop. You can submit donations at the door!

Where: Wilson's Shop, 2258 W. Road 10, Ulysses, KS 67880.
When: Saturday, July 11, 2009. Doors open: 8 PM; Band plays: 9 PM to 1 AM.
Who: All ages.
Other: This event is BYOB!

About the Band
For the past 10 years, this Wichita Based Cover band has played all over Kansas thrilling tens of thousands with their Hi Energy, Concert style Show. Formed in 2000 by Jason Shire, the orginial concept was to play music that was fun, famiular and put people in the mood to party, dance, and leave a smile on their face. 10 years later, BIG FAT FUN has developed a fan base of thousands and become one of the most popular bands in Kansas, playing everything from small clubs, to Private Functions, to large festivals. BIG FAT FUN has shared billings with acts such as Ted Nugent, REO Speedwagon, Loverboy, Eddie Money,Kenny Loggins, Joe Cocker and Night Ranger. What makes this band so popular is its wide variety of music, large repituare of songs and their fast pace, high energy show. BIG FAT FUN will please everyone from 5 to 85!

Home

2009-06-27T07:48:00.003-05:00

Mom is sleeping in the room a few feet away. I'm pleased she's still slumbering because she was not feeling great yesterday. "Overextended herself the day before," it seems. (Tee hee.)

Some things never change.

I cruised into western Kansas yesterday afternoon and there she was, perched in her zero gravity chair in the front room waiting. She'd been waiting all day for my arrival. It's quite reminiscent of her mother, my grandma Esther, waiting for me to stop by and visit on an afternoon trip back to college. She is more like grandma everyday, and that's a good thing... means she's got a lot of fight.

It's odd being home with a disorderly house greeting you. I guess I must've grown up somewhere in the last year (a little gift of being a New Yorker is that you don't have to grow up), because I took to task on a variety of things... watering zucchini, watching for giganto grass spiders in the giganto grass, giving the dog an impromptu bath with vanilla shea butter doggie soap, running errands for cleaning supplies and food items.

I was initially exasperated at the heat here! But it's a familiar atmosphere. I settled right in.

Deb came over and taught me how to put mom's dressing on. I confess that my tummy lurched a few times over at the incision site. Mom can't look at it while it's being dressed. She stares up at the ceiling with her teensy stick thin arms extended above and behind her head to support it. Much of her swelling is gone except for her torso. I suspect that swelling is not related as much to water weight as it is to her internal organs still facing trauma.

I'm happy to know I'll spend the next three weekends here with her, and can mow the grass, fold laundry and cook so daddy doesn't have to stress about it when he gets home late in the evening.

It's clear that mom's support system has done nothing but grow. There are mountains of cards spilling out of every room. Flower arrangements grace tables. The fridge is packed with fruits, veggies and other healthy yums. We had a really great dinner last night and I finally met a couple great friends of mom and dad. Speaking of paps, he walked in around 8:30 PM looking absolutely wild -- his shock white hair is longer, unruly with curls and big. He was bright red, and I scolded him about sunscreen. For a cancer survivor, he should be more careful about taking care of his skin. It's the largest organ in the body and melanoma is not on our wish list this year. After the scolding, though, I gave him a big hug and we chatted for a bit after mom went to bed. I'm giving his hair a trim tonight for sure.

Today the goal is a shower. I'll get her up and waterproof the incision site before scrubbing her little back. I'm a thrift-store junkie (fine, I admit I shop... a lot, but I'm cost conscious and have no problem matching a nice vintage shirt with a ten dollar pair of shorts), and mums received a brand new wardrobe yesterday of summer dresses, so we'll outfit her for the day, too.

It's a big unusual for me to spend this much time in Ulysses, or even in Kansas for that matter. I don't know that I've slept in my old bed this much since... early college? With the addition of my wedding bouquet, my room remains the same as when I was 19 years old.

I sleep quite well here.

PS: bear with the Go Yellow Friday banner. I left my Photoshop laptop back home, and can't change it out. Oh well. We'll go yellow all weekend.

Nothing wrong with yellow good luck

2009-06-26T08:43:00.003-05:00

Yellow yourselves up today for momma and all the other cancer patients in your family.

I'm excited to see mums later today and hoping for no tornadic encounters on my drive from Denver.

Progress continues

2009-06-25T07:30:00.008-05:00

I learned my lesson with "hopeful posts". It's a concept in blogging that typically backfires on the writer because, essentially, a blog is an open journal for the world to read... a tiny glimpse into the head of a person. Being overly hopeful, in my experience, leaves one unprepared for reality. And, this early into mums' recovery, it's clearly a potentially hazardous risk to be too hopeful and eager for our new slice of life pie.

Oh, well get it -- we'll get that pie and probably a few other delightful pastries, but we have to wait a bit longer. In fact, this entire experience has proven that early positive thinking is often stolen away very quickly by the realities of complicated cancer decisions, results, treatment, and... recovery.

That mountain of complication and frustration is truly where yellow Friday's erupted from, because our weekdays at Mayo (and now in Kansas) were frequently full of bad news, endless appointments, way too many MRI and CT scan reviews for my taste. But then magical Friday would rear its head, and we almost always got some decent news. Nevertheless, mum would be terribly exhausted by Friday. Hence, we felt that day was when she most needed support. And so it goes.

Back to progress.

Mom progresses daily. Progresses, I've decided, is my action verb of choice now. I'm not getting fancy and adding bells and whistles.

I had a long talk with her last night as she arrived home from GC. She asked me to bring her some summer dresses this weekend -- It was a funny request because she's not a fan of them, but dresses are ideal with the bile drainage bag attached to her. She'll likely have the bag another month or so while the drainage naturally progresses back and re-forms it's old system.

Her voice sounds less shaky everyday.

Just as she seems to know when I'm ill -- even when I lived half a country away, she would know -- I can tell her state by her voice. She excitedly described my Uncle Jon replenishing the fish supply in his pond yesterday. (Mom is a huge fan of fishing, and learning to fly fish is a dream of hers.) My hubzo is also a fishing fan, so we're wholly prepared when Fourth of July hits us next week -- mom was really excited about those fish. Perhaps I'll pick up a yellow fishing hat for her.

Progress. We embrace it, and hug it and keep it by our side. It's most important these days.

Don't forget to wear yellow tomorrow! And make sure to Save the Date of July 11th for the Dance Party and Benefit in Ulysses featuring Big Fat Fun! Look for fliers to hit town in the coming days.

Infection stalled

2009-06-23T10:56:00.003-05:00

Mom just called and the doc said her incision is looking much better! Her antibiotics weren't renewed, but they continue saturating the incision with saline gauze until it fully closes, and then returns to the surgeon in a month. Hopefully, her external bile drain will also be removed.

She sounded so much better. Her anxiety heightens (as does everyone's) before these appointments, so I'm wishing her a restful and enjoyable day with Patsy by her side.

Each day is different

2009-06-22T21:04:00.002-05:00

Father's Day tuckered mums out, but she sounded better today. She's back in GC and awaiting another doc appointment tomorrow to check the infection.

Thanks for all the comments and kind notes and emails with tips for mom's nutrition. You guys are the best.

Better

2009-06-20T16:49:00.002-05:00

Mummy had a much better day yesterday and was in good spirits. I talked with her briefly this morning and she is still having sleeping troubles, but was hoping for another good day.

One day at a time. A very thoughtful and useful saying, if you ask me.

Straight up: we need your yellowness today

2009-06-19T06:51:00.005-05:00

Can anyone believe it's Friday, finally?

What a long week it's been, especially for mums. Please remember to wear your yellow today, because I'm convinced it helps. I didn't wear my yellow strawberry earrings yesterday, and mum didn't have such a great day. I won't forget again.

I had a talk with her last night, while she waited for what I'm sure was a scrumptious and healthy meal. Patsy did all the nutritional research for liver regeneration, so things are on track for mom's eating (every couple hours, leafy greens, lean protein, omega 3s, antioxidants). Perhaps we should fill mom up with a giant blueberry!

Sigh. My injection of humor is half-hearted because it's been a really tough week in recovery 101. But... the important thing is that three short weeks ago we were all waking up with feelings of terror, and she is here with us now with a long, long tiresome job that includes mental and physical regeneration and recovery. While the incision is taking its time ridding itself of infection, it's also likely contributing to her complete exhaustion. She's just very tired, and it's frustrating her.

Here's hoping for an uneventful weekend (no ER, no doc visits, no incision scariness, no other scariness) and that mom settles into a recovery pattern that includes healthy eating, rest, and virulence.

Interesting fact: when one google's "recovery", what should pop up but a government Web site devoted to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, which is an unprecedented effort to jumpstart our economy, save and create millions of jobs, and put a down payment on addressing long-neglected challenges so our country can thrive in the 21st century. The remaining search results range from more economic recovery sites to "clean livin'" recovery to data recovery to Nasa mission recovery. Not one search result is devoted to cancer, heart disease or stroke recovery: the three things that kill more people in this country than any other disease.

Get Your Own About Our Momma Widget

2009-06-18T16:13:00.003-05:00

Embed the widget that you see here on your Web site, Facebook or Myspace pages, or anywhere that accepts html code for regular updates! Click on the "Get Widget" tab at the left-side bottom of the widget. Enjoy and help spread the word about our momma!

About Our Mommagreat free widgetsWidgetbox

Infection Part Deux

2009-06-17T07:14:00.002-05:00

So, mom does indeed have an infection in the incision area. She saw a wound specialist yesterday who reopened the incision in two places (ugh) to let it drain, and took a culture. She's on antibiotics and wrapped up in saline gauze wraps. Mom goes back to see him in a week. She's also camped out with Nurse Patsy. :)

I haven't yet talked to her today, so I'm not sure how she is. I can say she sounded better after the appointment, but she's up and down. Only two more days until we go yellow again.

One final note: it's often frustrating for me as I comb in the Internet for research and studies regarding bile duct and liver cancer. There simply are few to none. This morning, as I scoped for cancer recovery articles in our national medical publications database in the National Library of Medicine, there are simply zero to be found.

As I continue researching, I'm now turning to the consumer side of publications and the ever-fruitful Amazon. If anyone has good cancer recovery and recovery nutrition books that you recommend, please post their titles or an author today!

PS: I found one already! It's called: "The Cancer Recovery Eating Plan" by Daniel Nixon.

Infection

2009-06-16T06:53:00.007-05:00

Mom's had a few hiccups and is seeing a surgeon today because it seems that she might have an infection in the wound area. Saturday travels turned out to be more burdensome than anyone supposed, so here we are.... Hoping that this can be brought under control so mom can continue recovering.

This is just such a slow process. Just because she's home... wow, it makes one realize how traumatic this surgery truly was to her physical and mental bodies. I know we'll weather through, because we have to!

Home

2009-06-14T09:25:00.001-05:00

Mom finally made it home after one of those nightmarish days dealing with airlines and terrible thunderstorms.

Suffice it to say that she's exhausted and needs rest. But, she's glad to be home and on my daddy's birthday, no less.

Even the doggies support cancer recovery

2009-06-13T08:51:00.001-05:00

Check out Louie, Bowser and Elvis rockin' their yellow yesterday!

Another yellow Friday

2009-06-12T08:00:00.004-05:00

This Friday, I hope we can channel our hope, care, and bright shiny yellow thoughts to all of our family members struggling with or recovering from with this terrible disease... there are so many of you out there who need support.

To Phil, Lisa, Jen, Kelly, David, and Megan... I know mom wants this Friday to be about your family. Wishing you all the best.

Save the Date: Live Band/Dance Benefit on July 11

2009-06-11T18:23:00.007-05:00

Ya'll better get your dance party outfits planned.

In what I anticipate to be the most awesome opportunity for a first reunion for mom and much of her community, I'm so excited to announce a live band and dance benefit scheduled for July 11 in Ulysses, KS! An anonymous donor submitted funds to bring a local Wichita band, Big Fat Fun, to U-town on one exclusive night for live music and the perfect chance to celebrate mom's recovery! The event proceeds will be donated to Mom's medical fund.

So... Mark your calendars NOW for an evening of music, happiness, friends and family! The event will take place at Wilson's Shop.

Donations will be accepted at the door -- stay tuned for more details!

A special thank you to each of you special, special people (including the mysterious donor[s]) who are making this happen. I know many of you very well and love you all so much for not only helping take care of my family today, but every day.

Save the date: Duathlon (run-bike-run): Oct 3rd

2009-06-11T17:19:00.007-05:00

Hey everyone!

I'm so excited to announce this exciting event, the inaugural DU Good duathlon (run-bike-run) scheduled to take place on October 3, 2009, in Ulysses, KS. Proceeds will benefit mom and another community member in need to assist with medical bills and ongoing payments!

What is so cool about this event is that it can be repurposed year after year with proceeds to benefit other community members in need, and it's introducing members of the community to untapped recreational opportunities within Frazier Park.

For regular updates, join the Du Good Facebook page, now by clicking here.

WHAT/WHERE

A committee of 5-6 volunteers is organizing a duathlon (run-bike-run) on October 3, 2009, in Ulysses, Kansas. The race course will be located at Frazier Park on the newly developed running and biking trails.

WHEN
The DU Good off-road duathlon will coincide with Fall Fest on October 3rd. Race times TBD.

WHO WE ARE
Key Organizers are Melodie Faulkner Weis (Event Director), Zak Weis, Chris Faulkner (Event Director), and Jasey Faulkner. Interested in volunteering? Please contact the committe at dugoodevents@yahoo.com.

FUNDRAISING
The bulk of Fundraising will be sought from local sponsors while other funding will come from participant entries. We have set an agressive, yet attainable fundrasing goal of $10,000. For more information regarding how to donate, please contact us at dugoodevents@yahoo.com.

DU-ING THE MOST GOOD FOR OUR COMMUNITIES
The purpose of DU Good events is to assist community members in need. This year, DU Good Events will donate the proceeds from this event to Paulette Fort (mum). These funds will assist her in paying for medical bills resulting from treatments for bile duct cancer. The committee has contacted another community member who may be in need. See updates in the future regarding this individual. The main goal of this event is to raise money that will assist both parties with medical bills and on-going treatments. A secondary goal is discussed above, to set precedent for yearly events to benefit community members in need and utilize untapped resources in Ulysses.

I have to especially thank Melodie and Zak Weis for bringing this idea and concept to our attention and giving it life. As many of you know, mum takes particular joy in watching Thayne run marathons -- this is the perfect idea for enacting one of mom's favorite things to do, which is supporting healthy lifestyles and sporting events for people of all ages. We are so excited to participate as a family, and hope everyone else plans to join us! The more people, the better! Mark your calendars now, and stay posted for further details regarding registration, setting up teams, how to train, etc.

Momma's comin' home!

2009-06-11T16:58:00.004-05:00

Woo! Mums' received the all-clear to fly and will be traveling home this weekend!!

Just think... two short weeks after the scariest surgery EVER, she's cancer-free and going to return to us all very soon.

I'm ecstatic, and I know all of you are, too. She's been given the heave-ho from ole' Mayo and the magical surgeons!

OK, I'll be realistic now. Mums still has about six weeks of intense recovery left. She's very much in full-on recovery mode now, but even though I know everyone is super ready to take a head-butt into the red brick house, please respect her privacy while she continues getting better. I promise she'll be up-and-running in no time, ready for football season, cross country meets, K-State games, dog walks, great times out on the back porch... ice cream with her doggy.

On another note, this experience and recovery could not have been endured and accepted with such success without all of YOU. Mom's energy and endurance fluctuates on all of your comments and involvement in aboutourmomma.blogspot.com -- it's truly been an extension of the wonderful people that all of you are. And, the posts won't stop here. I will continue updating on mom's condition and a variety of events to benefit mum and dad (to assist with medical payments) that are upcoming this summer and fall.

With that, I'm extremely pleased and excited to announce the first (two) of many special and benefit events in Ulysses, KS... see the next two posts for breaking news!

No more rain!

2009-06-11T07:34:00.002-05:00

Wowsers.

It's been rainy and cold in Minnesota. It's been rainy and tornado-ish in Denver (it's my Kansan curse; I brought a once-in-20-years tornado to Brooklyn, too). Has it at least been sunshiney in Kansas?

This week has been busy for mums. I received a pic of her tapping away on her laptop, ever trying to keep up at work. I know the pain meds put a certain curse on her that won't leave for a bit until they clear out of her system. Her clear thinking and relentless energy will be back soon.

Doc appointments today... if all goes well... well, she might be heading home soon.

Recovery continues

2009-06-09T07:16:00.003-05:00

I talked with mums for a while yesterday. She's still really super tired and was disappointed at her energy levels and ability to sit up easily. Her voice is still small and I can hear the exhaustion. I know she'll be 100 times better, though, a week from now and tried to encourage her on.

It's been cold and rainy in Minnesota. She's hoping for sun to supplement a need for walking (and in turn reducing her water retention that seems to remain).

She goes in for blood work, surgeon meeting, etc, on Thursday. Keep your healthy vibes shooting off to the northern midwest.

Sunday rest

2009-06-08T07:37:00.003-05:00

I was so delighted to receive not one, but two phone calls from mums yesterday. It was almost like a normal weekend when we discuss each other's food endeavor's of the day. The tiredness is in her voice, though. She claims to be getting the best sleep yet while she and Patsy muddled through a rainy, chilly Minnesota weekend.

Mom has bloodwork and a big appointment with the surgeons on Thursday to track progress. Her bile "bag" is still draining, much to our dismay, but we hope it seals itself off soon.

Mum is still retaining a lot of water, so she's still on Lasix. Hope this week is a big one in terms of positive news and recovery.

Gettin' out

2009-06-06T11:30:00.002-05:00

Update: Mums is safely home and sleeping. Patsy said they planned to enjoy a rainy afternoon relaxing.

I briefly spoke to Patsy this morning while they were packing up mom's belongings and readying for the discharge. They hope to get home and spend the remainder of the day relaxing and resting.

Discharged tomorrow

2009-06-05T16:38:00.003-05:00

Mums will be discharged tomorrow! What an amazing difference from where we were just one week ago.

We are very blessed and lucky. We're especially thankful for Patsy's help this week and during next week as mom continues to recover in Rochester.

You can send cards and other fun things to mom at:

1533 9th Avenue SE
Rochester, MN 55901

A few yellow pics to pepper your morning with...

2009-06-05T10:39:00.010-05:00

Susie sent a few images of the "Go Yellow" pins we all wore last week during mom's surgery. Aren't they pretty? Susie made them, but she and mom finished the pins a few days before the surgery. Enjoy!

One week later...

2009-06-05T07:39:00.004-05:00

Our Friday's are becoming a bit of a dive into the yellow submarine, eh?

Mom was much more clear-headed yesterday, according to Patsy. The docs came in during the afternoon and discussed dismissing mums, but we're all shying away from that until she can walk and get out of bed on her own. We're thinking she'll be in for a few more days.

The water weight is slowly coming off and there were no other major concerns yesterday afternoon. Her bile drainage bag will remain attached to her for a few weeks until her body naturally seals the pathway off.

We'll keep chugging down the yellow today as she continues this rigorous recovery effort. Both mom and Patsy need our support, because it's not easy being the cheese that holds the grilled sandwich together.

They are the priceless P and P's, after all. :)

Brief update

2009-06-04T09:31:00.003-05:00

Talked to Patsy this morning -- a brief update...

1) Mom's bilirubin was back into a normal range this morning, so let's hope it stays that way.
2) The pain drug switch helped a lot. She's not so hazy and not in tons of pain either. Thank goodness!
3) The water retention in her legs is still a big concern. It's just not leaving her body for some reason, so they're giving her more Lasix and asking her to walk as much as possible. Mom still can't walk on her own, but Patsy said it's a big objective today.
4) Not sure yet of a dismissal date, but it's getting closer. We're asking that she stay in until she can at least walk on her own, if not get up by herself. She'll likely need a nurse for a week or so after dismissal while they remain in Rochester.

That's it for now! Don't forget to wear some yellow tomorrow... she still needs our support!

A few stumbles

2009-06-03T18:24:00.003-05:00

I left mom very early this morning, around 4 AM. When I entered her room, there she was, hanging off the bed and trying to get out of bed alone! No go! I helped her back in before heading out.

Patsy took over full-time and took great care of mums today. She had mom's pain meds switched (thank goodness). Mom also had an ultrasound, which showed a healthily working portal vein (woot!). Her bilirubin count is a bit high, though, according to the surgeons. She'll have testing again tomorrow. We need that count to go down. No more surgery.

Otherwise, it sounds like mum is progressing along. We need a clear path, though. No more stumbles.

IV is coming out

2009-06-02T07:17:00.004-05:00

The docs were just in. Very pleased with her blood work, vitals, etc. They're taking her off IV to increase her nutritional levels. She's still moving so slow and they expect the brunt of her recovery to be 4 to 6 weeks. She had a rough, rough evening, having eaten her first meal of chicken noodle soup and vanilla milkshake. She developed severe cramping and it was painful to watch her. Mum has a high tolerance for pain, but she continually fell asleep (b/c that's what she does, as if narcoleptic) with a grimace on her face.

Yesterday, they transitioned her to oral meds, too, so once those kicked in, her pain simply fell to the ground like snowflakes.

I spent the night here snuggled up next to her. We have no roommate right now, so we shut the door and I only woke up once during bloodwork.Even though yesterday was challenging, she's giving us a few good laughs due to her meds. Of course, she's funny when clear-headed, but they clearly have her on "supremo" levels and I doubt she'll remember this week. Yesterday, she dreamt that Thayne and I were in here. She awoke and told Patsy that she'd heard Thayne talking, and that I'd said "mama" loud enough for her ears. Of course, neither of us were in the room.

And, today, while she sat and brushed her teeth, sitting on the edge of the bed and continually falling asleep, she saw two big raspberries in front of her.

As you can see, we're taking the humor anywhere we can get it.

Bike fodder

2009-06-01T15:56:00.004-05:00

I'm getting in some much needed "work time", while mom gets some much needed rest. As you all know, mom doesn't rest long, though. She and Patsy just came trotting by on mom's fourth walk of the day. As they passed by, I happened to receive an email with a special photo that I had to show everyone!

Melodie (previously Melodie Faulkner) and Zak Weis participated in a 100-mile bike tour yesterday in the canyon in Amarillo, Texas. Their team was in honor of mums and Ron Walker. They dedicated one full hour to mom and sponsored a team in her honor, too. Additionally, her story was told at the event. All proceeds were donated to the Harrington Cancer Center in Texas. Mel and Zak rode in 94 degree weather and both nearly completed the entire race. Woo hoo!

More info to come on a special event being organized by Mel and Zak later this year (stay posted!). For now, check out Mel (above) in her special riding shirt from yesterday! Way cool. Thanks so much, guys! Mums was excited to see the pic.

Onto mashed potatoes

2009-06-01T12:36:00.002-05:00

Mums had a hard night with no sleep, but physically, she's doing well. Her surgeon nearly beamed this morning at her recovery thus far. Her portal vein is open and free of clots right now (yay!). Her liver is functioning well. Her bile is heading south.

She's very, very tired and only able to stay awake a few minutes at a time. She also wiped herself out yesterday with a speed walk near end of the day, and was put on oxygen as a result. We need to slow it (or her) down!

Anyway, she is back on softs and requested mashed potatoes for lunch. She's having a bath and we've reserved the afternoon for a nice, long nap that we hope she actually achieves.

Sleep and rest are our biggest priorities today. Keep the comments coming, everyone; she's getting a huge kick out of reading them!

She ate a popsicle

2009-05-31T16:10:00.003-05:00

She also ordered us around quite a bit (tee hee), so we think things are moving in the right direction!

She's still having a few post-surgery issues, but the medical staff is watching her closely. Two surgical residents came in a few minutes ago to check on her water retention (it's definitely a problem right now). They said it's not uncommon to look like the Michelin man post-surgery. She shot back that she would prefer to be called the Pillsbury dough woman! One of the residents challenged her earlier in the day to walk 4 times so she's walking 6 times (they get such a kick out of her). Before leaving they both declared that a fiesty patient is the best patient.

Dad and I are scheduled to leave early Wednesday morning. Patsy will remain here in Rochester while mums continues the recovery. We're staying by her side as much as we can.

Saturday night

2009-05-31T06:37:00.002-05:00

Mums is feeling and looking better all the time. We're still not sure if everything is working correctly, though. We never got more news on if the bilirubin count was lowering, etc. They did an ultrasound to check blood flow through her newly constructed vein, and assume it's looking fine because they didn't go back in for more surgery. She's still very, very tired and sleeping a lot.

We celebrated Thayne's 30th birthday at a local haunt near the hospital. Patsy made it here safely and we're preparing to take Thayne, Jennie, and Matt back to Minneapolis.

Hoping for another good day...

Saturday: 11:30 AM CT

2009-05-30T11:21:00.003-05:00

Mom made it through last night pretty OK. They've still been very concerned with her blood pressure, clotting and bleeding out. Her bilirubin count is still very high, and they're concerned about having to go back in. Hopefully, it will remedy itself, but we hope to get news this afternoon.

Otherwise, it will continue to be a concern for several days as all of the reconnected areas of her biliary tree and liver get to know each other. The portal vein reconstruction, in particular, was risky because they removed a generous portion where it was encased, plus more, to be extra safe. Then, they married whatever was left.

Dad met with mom and her surgeon this morning at 7 AM -- the surgeon reiterated again how he'd gone well beyond the regular tumor and scar tissue margins, which means her recovery time will be longer. I gave slightly incorrect info yesterday in that they actually removed 17 lymph nodes (versus 16) and indeed removed the entire right side of her liver as previously planned.

True to form, mom didn't even use a third of her pain meds during the night -- the staff couldn't believe it. She's very in-and-out of coherency, but understands that things went as well as could be. She's currently undergoing an ultrasound and she walked a few feet with help earlier today. She must walk at least four times today.

We do not know how long she'll be in the hospital, but at least one week. Susie is headed back to Denver today and Patsy is flying in this afternoon -- she's staying for at least two weeks.

I've had dozens of inquiries about where to send cards, etc, so here's the story:

Mom's address is:
Paulette Fort
Rochester Methodist Hospital
201 West Center Street, Room 5211B
Rochester, MN 55902

Note: mom cannot receive flowers that include lillies and they do not allow latex on the floor, so no balloons. The nurses will pitch these things into the trash and we don't want that!

Update: 10:30 PM CT

2009-05-29T21:15:00.004-05:00

We finally saw and talked to her!

Mums was rolled into her room just a bit ago. She looks relatively good for having the surgery she just did! She's fairly swollen, but that'll go away in time. She wanted to know how it went, and all the details. You should've seen the relief when we told her that she may be returning to a normal life very soon.

She hasn't lost her kick -- he he. She asked how she looked... when we replied in chorus that she looked "pretty good", she rolled her eyes back, sighed heavily, and plainly stated: "Good, because I feel like shit!"

Update: 9 PM CT

2009-05-29T21:15:00.003-05:00

Mom's still in recovery, but due out relatively soon. We had a scare in that she was having serious bleeding and fluid retention as a result of the surgery. The main surgeon's fellow informed us around 7 PM that she might go into ICU until she stabilized, but we just heard that she's responding well to meds and should be able to stay in her regular room tonight.

Matty D is on the shuttle from Minneapolis and the rest of us are camped out, waiting.

Tonight will be critical, so keep her in your prayers, as I know you all are! The main surgeon is meeting with her at 7 AM tomorrow to discuss the surgery directly with mum, so I'll provide dish as soon as I can.

We're hugging

2009-05-29T17:27:00.003-05:00

We've been blessed.

She's doing well. The surgeon just spoke with us as his team is doing final sew-ups.

Bottomline: They think they got it all.

Here are the facts:

1) The tumor was 4 cm and would have been too large to meet transplant criteria, so this was the better option.
2) They removed 16 lymph nodes that all appear to be benign.
3) They removed two benign cysts in the liver or biliary tree (not sure which).
4) They removed sections of the right and left sides of the liver, not the entire right side as previously planned.
5) They removed three sections of her bile ducts.
6) The tumor had encased the portal vein only on the outside and not internally. They resected the vein as a result.
7) The first pathology testing on all tissues removed except for the cancer are benign, and a secondary round of testing will take place as a precaution.
8) Her blood pressure was stable during the surgery, but she had some bleeding and received blood.
9) She'll go into recovery for 2 hours or so.
10) The two main concerns for tonight are: clotting in the resected portal vein and hemorrhaging. This will need to be managed tonight with blood thinners, etc.

So, the surgery went well and the masterful, wonderful, God-sent, lovely and brilliant surgeon thinks he got everything. It could still backfire, but this really scary day is closing with a positive sunny light.

Thank YOU for all of your support.

Update: 4:30 PM CT

2009-05-29T16:31:00.007-05:00

An update: the tumor is OUT. They're putting everything "back together" and the surgeon should be up in an hour to discuss.

We can't get any further info, unfortunately. We hope it's good news.

In the meantime, as we're all very nearly going bonkers in her hospital room and the various hospital lounge areas, we received a couple inspiring photos... one of a yellow Iris straight from her own backyard, the second of her beloved doggy as he appears to eat the Iris.

Trying to stay positive and really loving all of your yellow. The photos have been pouring in!

Update: 2:30 PM

2009-05-29T14:27:00.002-05:00

Mom is still in surgery. Unfortunately, her surgeon prefers to not be interrupted and thus we are not getting regular 2-hour updates from patient communicators. Stay posted, that's all we can do!

Update: 11 AM CT

2009-05-29T11:09:00.000-05:00

The nurse liaison just notified us that the laparoscopy procedure began a few minutes before 11 AM. We should know soon if they'll move forward with the full resection.

Update: 8:45 AM CT

2009-05-29T08:45:00.001-05:00

Mom was just hanging in the family waiting room with us in her gown and the IV wheeler when the nurse came to retrieve her for pre-op. They expect pre-op to take around 2 hours, if not longer. The hole where her catheter went in through her liver has reopened and started leaking again last night, so we might have an issue there. Hopefully not, though.

Dad, Thayne, Jennie, Susie and I are all here and sporting our yellow. The nurses know who mom's family is by spying our yellow insanity!

Surgery will take anywhere from 2 to 5 hours. Then, she'll be in recovery for another 2 to 3 hours.

More updates to come!

A sunny day

2009-05-29T05:28:00.000-05:00

Momma reports to the hospital at 6:30 AM today -- no word on a surgery time. Everything will take place at Rochester Methodist Hospital, which is located next to the main clinic.

We cruised in around 1:30 AM this morning and mom had been sleeping peacefully for a few hours already. She poked her head out and then went right back to sleep.

A good sign, I think.

Tomorrow

2009-05-28T15:31:00.000-05:00

Wow.

What a big day we have tomorrow. Mums seems to be controlling her anxiety well. I'm not, but that's the way I roll.

Please keep your positive thoughts beaming all the way up or over or to the left or right into Rochester, because we have a big scary surgery on our hands. We won't know the time until later tonight, so I'll try and post when I get to Rochester.

I'll also do my best to post any updates during tomorrow, so please check often. Wear yellow.

And thank you all.

New addy

2009-05-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

Here is the house address if you'd like to send mail (please do, b/c mum loves opening the cards and we've decorated the house with all of the thoughtful things that came last week):

1533 9th Avenue SE
Rochester, MN 55901

Thanks!

A few days to let it soak in

2009-05-25T08:40:00.000-05:00

Susie safely transitioned in for me on Saturday. Mom and I drove to Minneapolis to meet her at the airport and had a really nice lunch at a local diner before they went back to Rochester. I flew to NYC yesterday for a brief visit with old friends and old neighborhoods before a few days of work-related meetings.

It's kinda getting scary that the surgery is only days away. However, then I'm reminded of the confident surgeons and their discussions with us. I know this is the right thing.

The whole family is gathering in Rochester for the surgery. I'm flying back to Minneapolis late Thursday night. Thayne and Jennie will be flying in from Denver that night, too. My dad is flying to Minneapolis on Thursday morning. And, my hubzo, Matt, is flying in on Friday evening.

Keep us in your thoughts this week as mums rests up for her big day. Don't forget your yellow!

Surgery booked!

2009-05-21T09:54:00.001-05:00

Mom's resection is scheduled for Friday, May 29. Her nurse coordinator just called with the news -- her surgeon reviewed the computations on liver size and her lefty is 30% or more, so she's big enough to get through.

Laparoscopy is first. As long as there is no cancer in the stomach lining, the resection will take place immediately. Next Friday is going to be the biggest GO YELLOW Friday thus far.

Better plan to paint your houses yellow and hold Go Yellow parties and stuff, guys. Ha ha.

She might be able to garden after all

2009-05-20T21:25:00.000-05:00

For the record, I don't watch American Idol. Yesterday and today were the first times I've engaged in the show, but it's certainly turned into a metaphor or parallel universe to our life right now! The underdog won. Mum's been kinda underdogging around the last two months, too, but today we got some real direction. Real, noteworthy direction with timeframes! 'Course, we're used to sticks being thrown in our wheels, so we remain cautious.

Here ya go:

Transplant is out. Criteria must be met for a transplant because it's a last-ditch effort for people with liver or bile duct cancer. The tumor must NOT be resectable to meet that criteria, and the committee has determined that mom's tumor IS resectable. They are also concerned about her tumor growing extensively during the year it would take to get a liver. If that happens, she'd be dismissed from the transplant program and unable to receive a resection. There is one way the transplant could re-enter the picture: if mom's cancer has spread into her stomach lining -- we don't think it has. More on this below.

Total resection surgery is in. The initial treatment diagnosis mom received was that her cancer had spread too far to be a resection candidate. In a resection, they take portions of the biliary system, accompanying vessels and arteries, and liver. They initially thought her portal artery, which humans cannot live without because of it's important partnership to the heart, was encased with tumor. Now, even if there is some tumor in it, the lead surgeon feels confident that he can reconstruct the artery. Her case has been debated at length by the GI and Hepatology staff, and the top-of-the-line surgeons on both the transplant and resection side have agreed that resection is the best option with the best possible outcome.

Why the backtrack? Just par for the course? Kinda. We're grateful they didn't make a hasty decision on treatment and pleased that despite the run-around, a sound decision has been made and each small point, from post-surgery quality of life and the reality of how long it takes to get a liver, have been discussed. At the very least, we've all been heavily educated on transplant procedures.

What does a resection mean? Mom's new surgeon (described by head of GI and Hepatology as one of the top 3 surgeons for cholangiocarcinoma [bile duct cancer] resections in the country) feels confident he can remove all of the tumor. One member of mom's healthcare team told us that if he had this disease, he would want mom's surgeon to complete his resection surgery. He has also been described as one that would not take on a case unless he knows it's something he can do to perfection. I would by lying if these statements did not provide supreme comfort to all of us. My dad's cancer surgeon was also top of his field. And, well, that surgeon saved his life.

The liver is made up of two, non-equal sides: the right side is typically larger, making up around 60% of the liver. The left side makes up the remaining 40%. The majority of mom's cancer is within the right side of her liver and biliary tree. It does not appear the cancer is on the left side. Because her entire right side will be removed, her remaining left side must encompass at least 25% of liver functioning during surgery and one week post-op. During the first week post-op, her left-side liver will regenerate itself by 80% and hopefully, she will be cancer-free (I screwed that up initially, but editor mom fixed it post-publication!).

What next? The docs are having 3D computations rung up on mom's liver size now. Once the surgeon consults on the results, they'll likely move straight into surgery if her left side is big enough. If it's not, they'll perform an embolism where the right side will be shut down via catheter through her leg. Then, the right side will begin to shut down and shrink. The left side will automatically grow larger and become sustainable enough for the surgery.

Here are the next-steps for getting to resection:
1) Determine size of left side of liver.
2) If left side is big enough, we go straight to surgery steps. If the left side isn't big enough, the right side will be shrunk and the left side will grow larger. Once it's big enough, we go to surgery.
3) Surgery is a two-part process: first, a laparoscopic procedure will take place to scan for cancer cells in the stomach lining. If the stomach lining appears cancer-free, the surgeon will move to step two: immediate resection while still in the OR. If cancer cells are found, the resection will not take place and transplant will again be up for discussion.
4) Initial recovery from the resection will be around 1 to 2 weeks, but it will take months for her to fully recover.
5) There will be no chemo/radiation prior to the resection b/c they would destroy the bile duct. They would only occur if transplant takes place.

This changes our scheduling for the remainder of May and all of June, but perhaps we'll be bringing her home healthy faster than we thought. There is a lot of risk in the surgery, but... it is what it is.

I know all of your thoughts and positivity and yellow-ness will help her move through each stage of the coming days with success and good health.

Take a breath. Go yellow!

American Idol has become a focus

2009-05-19T19:29:00.001-05:00

We're numbing our brains.

Today was... okay. Eh.

We met with the tippity-top of the tippy-top surgeon pie for resection surgery. In a nutshell, he advised that mom is still a candidate for a resection, which means she is discounted as a transplant candidate. This, however, is NOT for sure yet. Nothing has been decided. We're looking at another week.

Yes, this maddening treatment process is an either or either. You get neither as a backup choice if one pans out negatively.

To be fair, the initial surgeon that discounted mom as a resect candidate was likely incorrect. Superiors -- on both the resection and transplant teams -- have deduced that a resection is possible. That doesn't mean it's the better option.

Coming out of a resect cancer-free certainly does not result in an an enviable margin. However, a transplant is no senior prom (gosh, that's not a serious comparison; senior prom can be a total bomb!) A resect means they have to regrow part of her liver if at less than 25% of liver is still able to exist after the resect. But, in the end, her liver will have to regrow or re-adapt anyway.

Should we move forward with a resection, it could still be roadblocked if perhaps any cancer has spread into the stomach lining or lymph nodes. However, today's surgeon was impressive in that he clearly knew mom's scan, her test results. He would be doing the resection surgery and showed exactly how he would do it, including how he would replace arteries coming in-and-out of the liver.

Despite all of this seriously frightening madness and the fact that our heads and spaces have been in transplant land, this isn't terrible news. All this means is that mom's case has risen to the top of the surgeon hierarchy and the very, very best are reviewing and weighing in on her treatment option. As I'm sure all of you can imagine, mom has managed to capture a serious, heartfelt want to fix her. Walking through the GI hallways this very evening, she received a nod walking down the hallway from a top surgeon who I didn't even know. He graciously informed us that we'll be meeting with he and the very, very, very top person at the top of the GI madness ice cream sundae no later than tomorrow.

We stay positive and hopeful. We must.

PS: mom is rooting for both of the last two dudes on American Idol -- she likes them both. Sometimes she likes the showman, sometimes she likes the underdog. She thinks, perhaps, that the underdog should win.

Not done yet

2009-05-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your comments, everyone. Mum is tuckered out right now. She got up super early and dressed in a bright pink and white striped cardigan and pink flip-flops. What a day she's had, and the most important part isn't over yet.

She's sleeping on a big lofty green chair looking out on the Minnesota sunshine here on the 9th floor of the Gonda Building. So far, we know where the best sleeping seats are in this big clinic house, and we're taking advantage of my never-failing press pass and the shameless New York method of taking a seat whenever one can.

We listen and hear many, many languages and see a myriad of ethnicity and illness -- the latter is still present in this sunshiney aura, so it's not very depressing.

Her catheter was removed this morning (big plus, but a big hole!) and she munched down a roast beef and gouda sandwich for lunch. We've decided that if we must be here for this godawful amount of time, we'll eat at every single dive restaurant in our own foodie way. So far, we've been fairly limited to desserts and pastries, but once this upcoming surgeon meeting is over in the next hour or so, we're going on a bender and getting fresh grapefruit and lemon gelato and enjoying the breezy evening -- no matter what news we get.

Whew!

2009-05-18T19:12:00.000-05:00

Today was BUSY.

I got up at 6 AM and started working while Mum went in early for immunizations, then we went to the Mayo store and bought more dressing tape, I checked email and then we departed to tour the transplant house, drove back to the hotel and packed our bags, checked my email, hopped back in the car to tour the Hope Lodge for the American Cancer Society, checked my email, jumped back in the car to check-out of our hotel, drove across town to another hotel, checked in and checked my email, worked on some web copy, ate a big 'ole ruby red grapefruit that mom peeled for me, continued working, mom sat in the sunlight and ate a rice krispy treat while I sat on a conference call, hung up the phone and decided it was 3 pm and we we're plenty ready for lunch, headed out to a Mexican restaurant we'd been eyeing, went to Macy's and bought mom a super cute yellow cardigan, and finally settled on desert for dinner and bought lemon tarts and pumpkin bars for our evening nourishment.

Oh, and we changed her dressing about six times. Fun.

In the middle, before Mexican food, the nurse coordinator called to tell us that the top surgeon wishes to meet with us tomorrow to discuss the final decision surrounding her treatment. No pressure or anything. All we can do is hope that the right and most sound decision is being made.

For now, we're hitting the sack and readying for a tizzying Tuesday. Stay posted.

xoxo,

Yellow Girls

A hot breakfast Sunday morning

2009-05-17T09:05:00.000-05:00

I rolled into Minneapolis early yesterday and was so pleased to find mum and dad waiting at the luggage carousel. Mom looks tremendously better. She's gained weight and is moving and walking much easier. We caught up on news between the three of us over breakfast. I delivered a few special gifts from home, and mom and dad slowly pilfered through the silent auction receipts grinning and commenting back and forth in awe. Then, we sent daddy off on his merry way, back to his dog.

Mum and I drove back to Rochester, where we stopped off for a couple hours to find her new pants that fit her (everything else is way too big). It wore us both out, but not before we stopped off at mum's favorite food joint, Newts. I'm sure we'll know the wait staff by name sooner than later.

We munched on cookies last night and crashed early. Today, we only have a few errands to run (also gotta color her hair, he he). Tomorrow, we'll tour two potential long-term housing options and mom has a couple of tests. We're also moving to a new hotel, so please send cards or anything else to:

Paulette Fort
1625 South Broadway
Rochester MN, 55904

Still waiting, but she's eating ice cream!

2009-05-15T18:38:00.000-05:00

We haven't found anything out yet... everyone, all the nurse coordinators and docs that mom met with again today, are all wondering, too. I'm hopping a morning flight to go spend a belated Mother's Day and send my daddy back home to Kansas for some much needed rest.

Mummy has some nice gifts coming her way tomorrow. Lots of thoughtful people on this planet.

I got texts and emails all day long from people wearing their all variations of yellow from California to New York City! Thanks for the support, awesome peeps!!! Happy Friday night.

Yellow Fridays

2009-05-15T01:10:00.000-05:00

Mark Twain said: “I saw a cat yesterday with 4 legs and yet it was only a yellow cat, and rather small, too, for its size. They were not all fore legs several of them were hind legs; indeed almost a majority of them were.”

I say... Pshaw. That's silly. Let's show our yellow and support for momma ASAP!

A regular day

2009-05-14T20:39:00.000-05:00

No news today... Maybe tomorrow.

Stay posted for an announcement about Go Yellow Fridays, where we can all show our support for her! The reason why Fridays are special is because they are typically the days when mom is most exhausted and the days when we walk away to a short break for ourselves dissolving and processing tons of information. Fridays are when we can absorb some of this insanity for her and take the world off of her shoulders. At the very least, we can give her a lift, and physically take on some of that yellow madness invading her body.

Join me and do it up in the craziest styles you can! Send me photos or videos and I'll gladly post them. This stuff gives her strength. What a fun way to help!

Take care for the night.

Still no news, but...

2009-05-13T19:40:00.000-05:00

... we're staying positive (eek).

I cannot imagine the frustration and worry that mums and dad feel. What a long day for them. Of course, I heard none of it in her voice.

The transplant has been somewhat postponed. The case was indeed presented today, but prior to the presentation it was decided that mum's case needs to be re-reviewed for resection surgery vs transplant. We don't know how the presentation went. Hope to find out more tomorrow.

Remember: mom was out-ruled as a resect candidate long ago, so this back-tracking is worrisome. However, we know that the lead surgeon still feels resolutely that mom is better off with a transplant. And, he's having another surgeon review the case on Friday. We hope that review will help lead to a final decision.

Nevertheless, it puts things behind. She will not, as of now, start chemo next week b/c she can't have chemo prior to a resection (should that materialize as the treatment). Further, if they do a resect and go in to find the cancer has spread or cannot remove all of the tumor, the transplant will be completely written off as a back-up plan. We only get one choice here.

Mum had a bit of an education today, learning the financial implications, getting a sense of how long she'd be at Mayo after the transplant, etc. She was comforted, I think, being in the presence of others who are there for the same thing. They toured the transplant unit, too. There are 24 beds in the transplant unit and only four are vacant! Mom was amazed at this.

Tomorrow is a very long day. Mums has LOTS of tests, including renal function testing, pulmonary function testing, stress tests, bone-mineral density testing, and infectious disease testing.

Mums said she met with a wonderfully awesome social worker today that really was pleased at the support system we've all created. That's one goodie for the day! When we're done, all those peeps at Mayo will be wearing yellow to support mom!

As for the star herself, she sounds pretty good despite all the scariness she's been up against this week. You know her.

Wednesday

2009-05-13T07:19:00.000-05:00

In The Secret Agent, Joseph Conrad states that "Protection is the first necessity of opulence and luxury."

How true. Funnily enough, protection is really turning out to be our secret agent. It's our first necessity of basic human needs, but bleeding into all dimensions of our lives--physical, mental, spiritual--all of our energies. Forget opulence and luxury! When she is better, perhaps we'll fondle those two notions on a beach in Italy or the south of France.

As dad said in yesterday's comments, it was a long day for them on Tuesday. The enormity is setting in. Transplants are really scary. It's getting more scary by the day. Mom has to be super healthy to battle any infections, etc. Protection is a must for mummy in so many ways.

Today we should get a final approval from the transplant board. Mom and dad are spending some time this morning in transplant education classes, talking with a social worker, learning about how costly this endeavor will be, and finally ending with surgeon consults.

Wear your yellow today, peeps!

Monday, Schmonday

2009-05-12T08:06:00.000-05:00

Mom was in good spirits when I talked to her last night after a long day of tests. She was hungry and tired! It's not fun to fast 5 nights of a week, but they are hopeful that she'll finish all of her testing this week and potentially start chemo as early as next week.

Tomorrow's the big day....

Tests all the Day Long

2009-05-11T07:49:00.000-05:00

Testing started at 7 AM this morning, going all day. Dad is with mom this week at Mayo. I join her this Saturday when he and I will switch out.

Testing all the week long....

Umbrella, ella, ella, ella

2009-05-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

I was very inclined to be sad today.

Namely, because my mom is farther away than ever from me and I cannot be with her on Mother’s Day. In fact, neither Thayne nor I can be with her today.

It rained last night in Denver. I got home late and watched a film, Rachel Getting Married, alone in the bedroom with the drops outside peppering and finally slathering our streets like thinned-out syrup. The rain heightened the sound of tires whipping by. At times, I couldn’t hear the movie, it was so loud outside. But, I couldn’t shut the windows. That was like cutting off the air. At least we’re breathing the same air. It gave me comfort.

The film examines a mother-daughter relationship. Sure, sure, the title implies a story of sister-sister relationship – and it is about that, too. However, cut down to its deepest core, the motherly issues sat fat at the top of the psychological quandary that was the main character's life.

As hubzo watched Mickey Rourke's return to glory in the room next door, I became entranced by the film. The nature vs nurture issue was top-of-mind. How obvious that the main character’s drug abuse stemmed from serious guilt issues that bled into her relationships with her family. Her selfish nature, raw sadness, her suffering and love were clearly sewn into her personality by the classical weavers of humanity: her parents. How sad for her to have a mother who avoided pain and shut herself away from her children.

I dunno. I really, really didn’t understand the latter part. But, I’ve learned from my parents and individual experiences that life isn’t always what you know.

Hmmm. Yes, the film was delving deep into parental discretion, guidance, responsibility. But, my mom isn't even a teensy bit similar to the mom in the film. No. I also found it eerie that Debra Winger – who starred in Terms of Endearment, perhaps the most famous and heart-wrenching film about a mother-daughter relationship ever – played the vacant, terrible mother. I'm sure it wasn't on purpose.

Anyway, the film sent me into varying states of emotion as I flipped through the life book in my mind. Increasingly, lessons taught to me by mom highlighted themselves. Moments of enjoyment gleamed bright as I paged through. I became teary with happiness at my luck of having her be my mom. That she steers me in the way she does, that she lets me be a child in her presence if I don't feel very adult that day. That she believes that situations are different for each person involved, that humans are not the same, nor should we try to be each other. That there are few reasons to achieve your neighbor’s life, or your best friend’s world. That it's more important to achieve your own special sphere of life, of success, of individual talents! That money isn’t everything – it helps, it makes things like cancer treatment less stressful, it helps provide a home to house your family, but value can be found within many things. To allow intelligence and humor to reign your day and progression through bad and good situations! That work ethic is human ethic! That joy can be found in a kitchen with my brother and me, cooking furiously, learning from each other's culinary adventures. These understandings and respect for individuality and smaller slices of the American dream are a few of the greatest gifts that my mother has given to me. More importantly, she has let me be me.

So I'm wiping my sad thoughts off the counter and tossing 'em in the trash. Today is a day to celebrate moms, a day to celebrate all the awesomeness that she encompasses. I'm not sad anymore as I write this, because I like writing about my mom. I like advertising her unfailing ability to be cool, to "get it", to be thoughtful and really listen! That's why we all love her, right? She's fun and she's so REAL. She isn't anything phony or spurious or devoid of acknowledging reality because she's not afraid of anything anymore. She's experienced the most awful things that can happen to a human. Through time, she has emerged even more structured and empathetic for each of us, for our individual traits and failings. She guides us to the right space because she knows where it is. She knows all of these secrets that many of us will never know!!! It's crazy!

So, my gift to mom today, this year, this recovery, this life, is to ensure that I return the respect she’s instilled in me. I have to let her be her. All of us have to let her be Paulette and keep the pathway clear and free of additional mess so it’s easier for her to maneuver and be the special person that she is. She is the queen bee of this latest challenge. In fact, it’s vital that her voice be heard through decisions made, discussions with the doctor, times when she’s so tired that she doesn’t really care anyway.

There is one thing that friends, colleagues, counterparts, acquaintainces always, always say to me at some point during our relationship: “your mom is the coolest. I wish my mom was like yours.”

It’s really true. I am lucky. My dad is lucky. Thayne is lucky. Our family is lucky. Hubzo and Jennie are lucky. Her community is lucky. Her boss is lucky. Hundred and hundreds of kids in her school district are lucky. Her dog is lucky. Her friends and colleagues are lucky. Her parents were lucky.

Forget the lottery. We’re a pretty rich group of folks reading this today. Yes, we are.

Happy Mother’s Day, mummy. I love you.

Happy Pre-Mother's Day, Momma

2009-05-09T11:14:00.000-05:00

This is a hoot! Watch this video, honoring momma...

If any of you would like to put together a similar e-mail for your mothers (and honor her tomorrow), learn more by visiting www.momsrising.org. I am not yet a mother myself, but boy do I have a great one. The organization, MomsRising, is truly amazing and a hub for honoring and spreading awareness about the important role that mom's play -- it's also a special place for people who love their mom's to try and change the world.

The MomsRising Organization
MomsRising is working to bring together millions of people who share a common concern about the need to build a more family-friendly America. Started in May of 2006, MomsRising has gained over 150,000 citizen members and is rapidly growing. More than 85 national and state organizations have signed on to be aligned with MomsRising.

Our members are bringing important motherhood and family issues to the forefront of the country's awareness. We are working to create both cultural and legislative change. It is time to break the logjam that has been holding back family-friendly legislation for decades and to advance workplace policies that will support families. MomsRising offers easy entry into citizen advocacy and is bringing the power of online organizing to motherhood and family issues.

Thanks, Miss Dana Lang, who created this video. She is my favorite theater reviewer and freelancer of all time.

TGFF

2009-05-08T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'm making up a new abbreviation spin-off of TGIF, because as wonderful as Friday's are, family is even better!

So today... I'm TGFF-ing: Thanking God For Family.

Not only are both sides of our family coming together and rallying relentlessly for momma's recovery, but everyone has been willing to inconvenience their daily lives to make hers a little easier. This week, mom's been lucky to have lots of family around her, in particular my Aunt Deb, who has been the daily lunch and dinner elf... she's been cooking and baking food so my momma stays stuffed and happy out on her back deck in the sunshine. She's thoughtfully checking in at just the right times... "Need a little ice cream?" Bam! It magically appears! "Salivating for some chicken noodles?" Kabam! Sitting in a bowl in front of you! Mom is grateful for it. She told me so. She did.

Plus, Jon and Patsy were the t-bone elves over this past weekend... Poof! We woke up on Sunday and there were t-bones and potatoes of delight (you guys better go bid on those ribs, b/c you have no idea what you're missing).

Clearly, mom is the central hub for food in our families. Potatoes and cookies are our bond and glue.

As if you're not hungry enough by now, just a reminder that today's silent auction is over at 4 pm CT! I hear it's been a huge, smashing success and will bring lots of much needed support to this insane few weeks and months ahead of us.

Hoping everyone is enjoying a nice, pre-summer day. Enjoy these pics of the silent auction, too.

Photos: Deb Fort.

Don't forget: Silent Auction ends tomorrow!

2009-05-07T14:46:00.000-05:00

Friday is the final day of the Silent Auction being held in Ulysses... better rush in there tonight or early tomorrow morning and increase your bids because ya never know who has been in there jumping up a notch ahead of you!

Thanks to everyone who has participated and is contributing. Way cool!

Another week of waiting

2009-05-07T07:39:00.001-05:00

Mom's approval through the transplant board has been delayed a week. It's not terrible news though; the main surgeon requires another meeting with the main surgery team before proceeding to the board. Mom is still scheduled to start pre-transplant testing first thing Monday morning.

Mom has been able to enjoy the sunshine a bit. She's getting the alone-time to rest as she needs, so thank you all for respecting that. I know everyone wants a glimpse -- I do!

Missing you here in Denver, mum. The weather is great, but it'd be a lot better if you were with all of us here to enjoy it. We could go to City Park and have a picnic. Thayne and hubzo could eat fried chicken. Cole could sit like a nice dog with us. We could slather dad in sunscreen. Jennie and I could enjoy a bit of Pinot Grigio. You could get a real suntan instead of a fake one.

Tee hee.

Afternoon in the garden

2009-05-06T07:56:00.001-05:00

OK, so it was more like an hour or so, but mom is getting around better each day, but still needing tons of rest during the day. I caught her out in her garden yesterday (by way of cell phone). Her case is being reviewed today! In the meantime, we're scavenging for an apartment in Rochester and trying to enjoy a low-key week.

Hoping for approval by the transplant board...

A long, but healthy weekend

2009-05-04T07:57:00.000-05:00

While hubzo and I traveled to Kansas on Friday for Jai and Marc's wedding, Mums and dad flew back to Denver. They spent the night in Denver and headed back home on Saturday. I shuffled between wedding photos and the wedding on Saturday afternoon and managed to spend an hour with them at home. I knew mom was feeling better when she walked in and immediately insisted on repairing the broken hook-and-eye at the top of my dress. Yep, she sewed me into my dress and sent me off to watch the happy couple get hitched. You've no idea how happy it made me that she wanted and had the strength to do that!

Later that night, hubzo and I returned, quite late, after a wonderful wedding and reunion amongst many of my dear friends from childhood. As always, she waited for us to get home before going to sleep. She was sad to miss the wedding, so I filled her in on all the details while she warmed breakfast burritos for me. As many of you know, my mum's kitchen is burrito central when we're at home visiting. It was nice to have that small sense of normalcy.

Mom is looking better and less yellow. Her external drain is shut down (on purpose), so she's moving much easier. I was so excited to check out the silent auction taking place at Golden Plains... what an amazing sight it was! So many generous folks have shown their support. I eagerly placed bids on a few items (and asked my Aunt Deb to keep watch over one particular John Wayne item that hubzo desperately wants). Tee hee.

We have many tasks ahead of us this week. Namely, we must find somewhere to temporarily live in Rochester. Before heading back to Denver yesterday, we had a family pow-wow to discuss how to get through the next month. Mom needs someone with her all the time, so we'll divide that responsibility up amongst family members and close friends.

She'll have this week of relaxation before heading back to Mayo this coming weekend to start a lengthy round of pre-transplant testing. Keeping fingers crossed that her case is approved by the transplant board later this week.

For now, we want her to sleep and stay low-key...

"We'll run with it."

2009-04-30T20:59:00.000-05:00

One of the many things I love about my mom is her openness to situations and people. She is very fair-minded, caring, and quick to have a laugh. People assemble around her. She's got charm. It's infectious.

I say that not in partiality or convention. She is truly an open soul.

I really only consider my adult life to encompass the last five years or so. Everything before it was fumbling around figuring myself out.

That's what happens when you live in the never-never land of New York City straight outta college (and, I utterly recommend it). But, since I can recall, my mother has never questioned my actions.

I suppose that trust could be manifested in the notion that she knows me, and trusts that I can make the right decisions. Of course, that's silly because I've made plenty of bad ones.

But the days when I treaded home on a plane, exhausted from working 24/7 at an insane ad agency with my eyes sopping and roads of mystery ahead, she makes me feel better. She plans my wedding and makes it perfect. She stays with me my first week in Denver -- while hubzo wraps up in Brooklyn -- and makes my apartment magically fatten up with furniture while I question my nerves. She buys me fancy champagne bottle dressings that only I and my friend Krispy can appreciate. She motivates me to ask for more money in my offer letters. She accompanies me to thrift store after thrift store where we find treasure together. She makes burritos so memorable that they require shipping in mass amounts. She navigates the Upper East Side way better than I ever could. She knows how to not get stiffed by a cabbie. She always wants to get ice cream with me.

I know she does this for lots of people. Growing up, she mothered so many people. I used to get calls on my personal line from boys who "wanted to ask my mom a question". (I don't think it was a line either.)

She baked cookies for every single baseball game I served as manager for during high school. I would jump on the bus and pass the tin of cookies around, everyone devouring them. I haven't been in high school for nearly 15 years and she still does this for the local football team.

She sends hubzo peanut-butter themed care packages that light his eyes up more than watching Game 4, 2004, Dave Roberts steals second. She keeps my father in line. She loves her dog. She genuinely... is genuine.

And, it's about time she got something back for it.

We learned today that mom is very likely a candidate for a liver transplant. I cannot express how frightening this is, but also how much it could mean for our lives. There are many, many hurdles to jump... and this entire option could be stolen away from us next week if the transplant board decides against moving forward. This could happen. However, mums and dad had a fairly reassuring and lengthy discussion with the transplant team at Mayo today, and they agree she will likely pass the next test toward becoming a transplant patient.

If the board agrees to the surgery, she will go through a 2-week period of intensive testing at Mayo to ensure that all other body parts are healthy and working appropriately. One must meet very strict guidelines regarding immunity, etc, to receive a transplant. She will require both chemo and radiation, as well. My dad said the radiation will take place two times a day. Ugh.

Tomorrow, they meet with the oncologist to discuss chemo.

And so, as my father said earlier this evening: "we'll run with it." Transplant it is. At least, we hope. The other treatment options are not encouraging, so we need this to work.

Mayo is the place for us. Dad was overwhelmingly pleased with the surgeons from the transplant team. They, in turn, reassured mom that she was where she needs to be. The team has already completed more than 50 transplants of this type this year. Mayo is the only facility in America that provides cancer liver transplants.

Mom sounded tired, but OK. She is ready for the fight. She knows these are the next steps. I admire her resiliency and ability to comprehend this with such grace.

Many days and months ahead to ponder. Looks like a little fairy is redirecting our auras to Rochester for a semi-permanent stay. It's time to go yellow to celebrate her recovery. Join me.

ERCP went well

2009-04-29T21:50:00.000-05:00

Mums got new stents on both the right and left sides of her biliary system. She still has her external drain, but the bag has been dismounted. It will remain inside of her for another two weeks.

I spoke to a groggy, but hungry mummy a couple hours ago. She sounded good and had gobbled down lots of jello. Her doctor was very nice and took good care of her. I'd post the pic my dad texted me, but she'd kill me. :)

Mums is having another ERCP today

2009-04-29T11:49:00.000-05:00

I really hope it goes well. I'm sure you all do, too!

I talked to mummy last night. She sounded good and had rested most of the day. She and paps had a late lunch because she had to fast for today's procedure. Tomorrow, she'll meet with the transplant team to discuss that rather frightening option. Then, on Friday, she'll meet with oncology -- finally -- to discuss chemo and any other options.

*Sigh*

P.S. Mums really, really hearts all of your daily posts, so

keep 'em coming. They help her through each day.

Not such great news

2009-04-28T07:24:00.000-05:00

Monday was a bummer.

We learned that the tumor has indeed spread to encase the portal artery and vein, thus confirming that mom is not a candidate for resection surgery. Two surgeons have reviewed her new scans. I won't speak for everyone in my family, but I think we all felt this was a very real possibility. It's just hard to hear it.

The other bad news is that mom's external drain is malfunctioning (ie, it's probably plugged or kinked internally). This means that her bile is again building up on the right side of her body, and her heightened bilirubin count proves it. There is nothing we could have done to prevent this. It was always a possibility. She will have another ERCP on Wednesday and they will try to put a stent in on the right side. Remember that she already has one stent in on the left side. The left-side stent appears to be working well.

Although mom cannot have resection surgery, she is still potentially a candidate for a liver transplant. In fact, the transplant is one reason why doctors have not yet done a real biopsy within the liver to confirm the cancer diagnosis. Having a needle poke in the liver would immediately dismiss her as a transplant candidate. She meets with a transplant team this Thursday to determine if that is a next step. If so, she would likely undergo chemo and be placed on a transplant list, which can mean months of waiting.

Otherwise, they are trying to schedule an oncology appointment (on Friday) to begin discussing chemo and phototherapy options. She cannot begin either until a biopsy confirms her diagnosis, so the transplant team must first make their determination.

The secondary key with any treatment will be to keep her bile dispersal under control. It's not easy and prevents mums from walking around or doing anything active and still be comfortable. Nobody likes a big wire going through one's liver.

No matter how you put it, it looks like we'll be in Rochester for awhile.

And the silent auction is off!

2009-04-27T12:22:00.001-05:00

Don't forget to stop by Golden Plains Credit Union in Ulysses this week and next to participate in the Silent Auction benefitting my mom's recovery! All of your help and participation is so much appreciated.

Back in Rochester

2009-04-26T20:01:00.000-05:00

Mom and dad safely made it to Rochester just in time to take big naps and sleep off their early morning flight. Mom is feeling and sounding pretty good. Her external drain appears to have stopped working and we don't know why, but are trying to not be discouraged. We had a lovely Saturday evening of food and family before they zoomed off up north early today.

Me? Well, I'm in Seattle at a social media workshop and I just met a developer of the new Mayo Clinic/Microsoft Health Vault personal health record software that launched this past week (you may have seen a segment on NBC's Today Show). Needless to say, we discussed work, but I couldn't help and divulge how helpful the software will be for people like my mom who is seeing multiple doctors and has medical records all over the place. The software provides 24/7 health advice based on your health records (all secure, BTW), and there are new, really super cool treats coming with phase 2 of this piece of revolutionary health 2.0. It will even give my dad tips on how he can take extra steps to improve his health as a caregiver; it provides ideas stemming from the number of steps per day that will help you lose a pound a week to how caregiver journaling can keep your mind in a zen place.

I couldn't be more excited about working in the patient sector of healthcare.

Even a little bit, rocks!

2009-04-24T09:42:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Susie for a thoughtful guest blog on Mums; Susie and Jerry have been amazing caregivers this week, waiting on mom hand-and-foot, keeping her fed and her dressing changed... we are so grateful for their hospitality as this week comes to a close.

Between Mom's resolve to eat and get better and Jerry and Susie's hard work, this week has paid off. I talked with Mom's primary doctor at Mayo this morning and he informed me that her bilirubin count has come down, significantly. Woo! It has dropped from a scary 14.5 to a FIVE. She is nearly normal when it comes to being full of yellow!

What this means is that both her internal stent and her external drain are working. Although it seems like a small little thing, this is so important to next steps for treatment. It's also a relief because it took a maddening amount of surgeries, procedures and poking around to get where we are today. Our fear was that she'd have to undergo another round of surgeries to get her bile moving. Someone has decided mom had enough of that -- someone perhaps thought she'd had enough yellow for now.

Not to say that this won't remain an issue, because it may. However, what great Friday news to wake up to.

Mom's doctor is amazing. His main reason for phoning was to check on her condition -- both physical and mental -- and he was very pleased to know that she's getting rest and gaining weight. On that note, here is the next plan of action (POA):

Saturday: Dad will travel to Denver and see Mom for the first time in nearly TWO weeks. Have you guys ever been separated that long?

Sunday: Mom and Dad fly out really, really early to Minneapolis. They'll catch the shuttle to Rochester.

Monday: Mom will have new blood work and MRI and CT scans during the morning. She and my dad will meet with her doctor and then the surgeon. The tumor is called a hilar or klatskin type (at least, that's what docs believe). Hilar or Klatskin tumors are the most common bile duct cancers. These tumors are located where the right and left hepatic bile ducts meet. The hope is that by EOD, a decision will be made about whether or not she is a candidate for resection surgery. Resection surgery is very different than a liver transplant and has a much different outcome. Click here for more information about resection surgery. If the surgeon determines that she is not a candidate, there will be a few "next phases" of discussion for treatment options. Next, a liver transplant would be up for discussion. If that is disregarded, Mayo is expert at chemotherapy and photodynamic therapy (PDT) for this type of cancer. Click here to read more about all treatments available at Mayo.

PDT is a treatment that uses a photosensitizing drug and red laser light to kill cells, usually cancer cells. It's a two-part treatment. First, the drug is administered intravenously. The drug is absorbed especially by fast-growing cells. Two days later, an endoscope is inserted into the body and through it, the doctor shines a specific kind of laser light (different from radiation therapy or heat-producing lasers) onto the diseased tissue. The combination of the laser and the drug causes a chemical reaction that destroys the targeted cells. PDT can be repeated without harming normal body tissues and can be used alone or in conjunction with other treatments, such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy. Mom would have to avoid sun if this is the treatment choice.

Anyway, a bit of happy news for my less-yellow mums.

Guest Blog Post: From Susie, Master Caregiver

2009-04-24T09:05:00.000-05:00

We’ve been blessed with improvements each day this week. Paulette’s appetite is very good! She ate a whole galusky Wednesday night and two pieces of pizza last night. Yesterday began with a big breakfast of French toast with sand plum syrup and fruit. While I went to the bank, she heated noodle soup and some pizza. We ate leftovers, salad and Chantilly potato casserole tonight. The scale shows another... pound gain. YEA! Taryn, Matt, Thayne and Jenny have been here often in the evenings. Lots of laughter in the house is a good thing.

The birds chirping woke her early yesterday morning. It was beautiful out, nearly 80 degrees. Late morning, Paulette sat on the patio swing for a while and soaked up some sun. She is also gaining strength and walking more. An amazing feat for 7 days. But would we expect anything else from such an amazing woman?

If today is anything like the past two days, we may have to push a cart to the mailbox. The pics (editor note: one pic shows a teeny little Paulette arm, much less yellow!)show Wednesday’s mail --two packages and lots of cards. One box was full of colorfully decorated flower-shaped cookies. How kind you are to keep the mailbox full and to fill her heart with warmth and love. God Bless you all.

Take Back the Fort: Silent Auction

2009-04-22T07:22:00.000-05:00

Auction Items as of 4/22
Outdoor Adobe Painting
Earl Seger’s Metal Tiger Sign
Earl Seger’s Metal Sign John Wayne “The Duke”
Basket of Avon Product
3 Piece BBQ Tool Set
Small wooden Decorative Wheelbarrow
Chef Figurine Salt & Pepper Set
Skil Jig Saw
Tricycle Flower Planter
Decorative Crosses
Birdhouses
World Trade Center Collectible
3 Dozen Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies by Brynden Annis
Canisters (set of 2)
Decorative Stars (set of 3)
K-State Personalized Return Address Stamp
Shop Bar Stool
John Deere Sign
Homemade German Chocolate Cake by Kim Irvin
Miniature Birdbath
Spring Geranium Framed Pictures (2)
Bob Kramer’s Birdhouse
KU Blocks
Sun Votive holder
4-$25 Gift Certificates for Beef
Ulysses Tiger Orange & Black Stationary
Shadow Girl & Wagon Yard Ornament
Bikers Collection Set
GM 100th Anniversary Clock
Outdoor Votive Lantern
49 Piece Socket & Bit Set
30 Handmade All-Occasion Greeting Cards in a Box
2 Certificates for Dinner for 2 @ the Landmark
2009-2010 MSAA League Passes with 2 Tiger Chairs
Metal Plasma cut yard Décor Flower, Leaf and Stars
George Foreman Family Grilling Machine
Toaster
Ulysses Tiger Flag
20 lbs of Freshly Smoked Baby-Back Ribs by Jon & Patsy Fort
A 30 Minute Aerial Tour of Ulysses with Pilot Kevin Moyer
3 – 100 Minute Long Distance Pre-Paid Calling Cards
5.8 g Caller ID Cordless Telephone
Universal Bluetooth
Sports Bag
Thelma Carl-Avon in a Beaded Bag
Thelma Carl-Red Rhinestone Necklace & Earrings
Enamel Ware
Planted Flower Pot
1 Harley Davidson Miss Enthusiast Leather Jacket
1 River Road Anvil Motorcycle Leather Jacket
Basket of Mary Kay Cosmetics
Note: a special thanks to the ENTIRE community of Ulysses and everyone else who has helped organize and contributed to this auction.

Slurpin' noodles

2009-04-21T19:33:00.000-05:00

I received the funniest e-mail yesterday morning from my mom's brother about how she stood near the bubbling chicken noodle pot picking out individual noodles and slurping them down. This, after a big ole' bowl of the soup. A coup!

Mums had an afternoon travail of blood work yesterday, but sounds better than ever. I'll let Susie elaborate since she's taken over as the #1 mom looker-afterer.

With another Mayo trip hovering, my dad and mom will fly back to Minneapolis this weekend and prep for a Monday full of radiology and doctor meetings.

Brooklyn beckons mum

2009-04-20T19:32:00.000-05:00

I have a little surprise for mum.

I'm tickled pink (or yellow?) to write this post and submit to everyone an original get-well poem written for mums especially by the rather infamous Shafer Hall. Shafer is a dear friend, well-published writer, Brooklyn vagabond and the best cheese dip maker I know. If it weren't for a chance meeting and hatching of a plot that could only take place at Pedro's in DUMBO, my life in NYC and now would be very different.

Mom and Shafer knew each other well. He called on Christmas to say hello and often spoke at length with her about college football. Although I don't have the pleasure of his golden company very often anymore, he has taken a moment to capture my mums. I hope you enjoy this, mom. If only you could hear it in his great booming voice.

THE WILDEST CAT IN KANSAS

Oh, great ounces
of bourbon, oh
wild cat of the
Great Plains,
your name is known
from Manhattan, KS
to Manhattan, NY.

Our love for you
Is near as the burn
of whiskey in the backs
our throats.

Keep yourself safe,
and wing it back to Brooklyn
to us and to the bottle
we'll keep safe for you.

Shafer Hall is from Texas. He is a bartender at The Four Faced Liar in New York City where he occasionally curates the Frequency Reading Series. He is a Senior Editor of Painted Bride Quarterly. His poems have appeared in many journals. Enjoy more Shafer Hall poetry by clicking here. You can also buy his must-read Never Cry Woof by clicking here.

Image: mums in McCarren Park, Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Sunday brunch

2009-04-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

The pork loin is grilled and marinating in BBQ sauce in the crock pot. Momma will be eating pulled pork today.

I'm getting ready to drive up to get mom going for the day. Last night she spent her first night alone (in the room, that is). I'm hoping everything is OK with her dressing. We had a wonderful, huge dinner last night together at Jerry and Susie's. Jennie made phenomenal caramel chocolate chip brownies that we all bathed our bellies in before heading out to our beds.

Mom is looking better each day. Her yellow is lessening despite the tremendous leakage we're dealing with (I guess it's good despite it's yuck). She's eating well. I think Thayne would agree that it feels nice to have our real home right down the way from mom -- it makes it easier somehow. I was also delighted to read about two more medical studies providing further evidence that laughter is indeed good medicine and that humor provides hope. "The best clinicians understand that there is an intrinsic physiological intervention brought about by positive emotions such as mirthful laughter, optimism and hope," said study leader Lee Berk of Loma Linda University.

Let both be our mantras. Happy Sunday to ya'll.

Guest blog entry from Momma

2009-04-18T12:01:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,

Well, we escaped the snowstorm. We made it to Denver and settled into my brother and sister-in-law's home yesterday after a long day of travel. Thayne did a great job of preparing my dressings for travel and getting assistance throughout the entire trip. (I mean, I had the primo seat, right next to the shuttle driver all the way from Rochester to Minneapolis, so I experienced the least amount of bumps.) I had wheelchair assistance at both airports. They let me wait on the departure side for easier pick-up once we finally got to Denver. That resulted in a much easier pathway into Thayne's car.

And, I finally ate a big, full meal. Really, it was a Thanksgiving dinner courtesy of Susie. It was delicious -- shouldn't take long to gain pounds back if this continues! Taryn spent the night with me. She went down for coffee this morning and remarked how the kitchen smelled like "Grandma Esther's". Lots of good food coming up in the next week.

It's raining and still snowy here today, but should be in the 70s by mid-week. Looking forward to that. I have a great bedroom all to myself with lots of window light and the fattest Robin's outside to give me a glimpse of spring. There are fresh daffodils in my room. Even though the daffodils outside are drooping right now from the snow, they'll be standing up soon enough.

Greg is at home taking care of business and giving Cole some love from me. I talk to him several times a day and hope he's taking his vitamins and keeping himself healthy (tsk, tsk).

I'm grateful to my children because although I know they are both talented in their own ways, I never knew their capabilities for caregiving. I guess they didn't watch my mom take care of my dad all those years and take away nothing. Taryn says I'm less yellow since she saw me last on Monday -- this is very good. I hope it means that all these tubes and wires are working.

On a final note, words cannot express my thankfulness for all the concern and support shown. It's been humbling to say the least... it's overwhelming at times. Please continue your encouraging thoughts and prayers. I know it's silly, but it seems like each one opens another door of hope for me. We'd had a lot of bad news these past few weeks, but there have also been small little events throughout that help us onto the next step, almost like we're being guided in the right direction. I don't take it for granted that we flew into Denver with little time to spare before yesterday's snowstorm that closed roads and slowed everything down. These little things -- along with all of your comments on this blog, the cards, the phone calls, the flowers and fruit, the donations and creative ways to continue raising money on my behalf... -- they keep me going through each day. And they help me stay positive. They help me stay focused on getting better and returning home so I can go back to my daily life, cooking and baking, enjoying my friends and neighbors, sleeping in bed with our big black dog.

We'll return to Mayo on the 27th. I hope for a definitive diagnosis and plan of action.

Love,
Paulette (aka, Old Yeller)

On the plane

2009-04-17T10:32:00.001-05:00

Mums and Thayne should be flying out soon. As of now, no delays despite a snowstorm here in Denver.

UPDATE: Landed in Denver at 11:20 AM!

Teeny little Thursday update

2009-04-16T13:48:00.000-05:00

Talked to mums this morning and she sounded so much better than yesterday! She slept all night. She ate a big breakfast. The bile seems less (per Thayne). She looks better (per Thayne). No pancreatitis.

Now, if we can hold off this snow storm long enough to fly her back to Colorado...

Little things count

2009-04-16T07:25:00.000-05:00

Isn't it funny how events, chance meetings, plane flights, relocations, career choices, fast food drive-thru's, online dating sites, church congregations, neighbors, or brief phone calls -- amongst many other scenarios -- can bring someone or something into your life that changes it forever?

That's how life is, I suppose. Somedays, I feel like we're put into our positions to become experts enough to help someone else. All of my mother's friends, colleagues and local U-town folk are kinda all doing that for our family right now. It's very grounding to experience the support and genuine love that you all have for my mums.

Yesterday I was walking to work and received a phone call from Sherry Annis (Sherry, BTW, totally rocks!) who has taken the lead on setting up a medical fund account at Golden Plains Credit Union on behalf of mom and to assist with her recovery. For hours and locations of all Golden Plains offices in Southwest Kansas, visit this link. Sherry advised me that donations can be made on behalf of anyone who wishes to contribute. Otherwise, should you choose to send a donation via regular mail, following is the address:

Paulette Fort Medical Fund
C/O Golden Plains Credit Union
PO Box 868
Ulysses, KS 67880

Sherry is also spear-heading a silent auction to be held at Golden Plains in Ulysses from April 27th - May 8th. All proceeds from the auction will be donated to my mother's account, so please take a lunch hour and pop over to partake in the auction.

On behalf of mum herself, thank you all.

You must be missing her, too

2009-04-16T07:14:00.000-05:00

Mums isn't terrible keen on having her photo taken.

Unfortunately, the children she's birthed really enjoy their cameras and gaining all substantial evidence of fun in life via real-time video and photos.

So... please start your Thursday off with a few positive thought of energy and wellness (and shoot them up or over to Rochester, MN) and partake in a little Paulette action she is so famous for.

She's got a stent!

2009-04-15T17:36:00.001-05:00

Hmm, not sure that post title should sound quite as positive as it does, but our Mayo-nic superpeeps were successful in getting a stent in the left side of the biliary system (aka, left hepatic duct). The plastic stent is about 1-inch above the still intact tube/catheter, which is internally and externally draining the right side of the biliary system (aka, right hepatic duct).

IOW, we remain in, as Thayne puts it, TUBE CITY.

The catheter tube... sucks. I'm just being honest. It's messy, uncomfortable and hard to keep clean. It will likely stay in for another month or so. As much as we despise Mr Tubey, he is very necessary. The catheter is actually helpful in reality. It's better to have the bile drain externally versus directly into her abdominal cavity.

Mom is resting comfortably with superbrother Thayne, who is taking religiously good care of everything down to her new scripts and upcoming wheelchair assistance at the airport.

They also took a biopsy of the tumor itself, as well as more brushings. We may yet get a for-real diagnosis sooner than later.

Thanks for everybody's thoughts! We hope to successfully have her back in Denver without pancreatitis and pain-free as possible by Friday morning.

ERCP in progress

2009-04-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

Talked with Thayne before catching the train to work... Mom went into surgery around 7:45 AM CT. Hoping and hoping and hoping that the surgery is successful and they get the stent in. Also hoping for no pancreatitis or low blood pressure...

On a separate note, I just want to thank each of you, again, for your outpouring of support. It's so amazing to see how one person's community, friends and family can really make things easier during a time like this. Our family is very grateful.